Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Case Against Halloween

I constantly promise myself that I'll update this more often, but I just don't get around to it, or I write half of a post then decide I hate it and scrap it. It's not good. I'm back though and that is that, so yeah. I get to go back to threatening people to read my blog at knife-point.

Anyways, where was I? Oh, right the case against Halloween. Well, aside from the obvious fact that it teaches children how to worship satan and that it's cool to dress up as something demonic, there are in fact other, even more sinister reasons to hate Halloween. Yes my friends, even more reasons than that one, and that one should be enough to make us want to lock our doors for forever. This is reason is one that should make us fear the God hating liberal even more than we already do.

The simple fact is it is teaching our children not only about the dreaded and evil socialism, but it is teaching them to love socialism. Let that sink in, then maybe go into shock for awhile. I'll say it again just in case you didn't catch it the first time, Halloween is teaching our God fearing children to love socialism.

What kind of lesson is that for our kids? To teach them to not work for what they get?! I for one am outraged. They walk from house to house, banging on the doors asking for a free hand out. Sounds awfully familiar. Like someone named Josef Stalin to me. Do you want your child to be Josef Stalin? I think not, faithful reader.

So as our children grow up, they begin to expect this Halloween all the time, if they get free candy on one day of the year, why not once a month? Why not once a week? Then why not everyday? We are raising a generation of socialism lovers who want to subsist on milk of the government teat! Also, Christmas should be about our Lord Savior Jesus Christ! What next?! Our children expect some fat man to come to our homes and hand them commercial happiness?!

This my dear dear friends is an outrage. We are being tricked by the liberals and gays to raise an entire generation of socialist loving girly boys who want to have the right to marry each other. I feel sick just thinking about it.

It's great to be back!

PS. Also, back when I first started this post in October or early November, it was totally relevant. Just imagine you're reading it back then.

PPS. It says this was posted in December. Not the case at all, it is clearly March.