Monday, November 24, 2008

Twilight is Awful 2.0

Seventy million dollars. That's a lot of money, eh? Something or someone that makes that kind of money, must be great. Common knowledge would say so. No, that is how much money the movie version of Twilight made over the weekend. That is pretty disgusting. That amount of money for something that terrible is blasphemous.

While that is disgusting, it leads to a bigger problem, people like terrible stuff. They can't help it, they just do. I don't understand it, and I'm not entirely sure I want to. Walking into your local Blockbuster will really drive this home. Out of two Blockbusters I visited they had two copies of EndWar for the PS3, and at only one of them they had at least five copies of a movie by the name of "Beer for My Horses," starring Toby Kieth all of which were rented out.

As I stood there confused and scared for the future of humanity at it's lack of taste, people were watching "Beer for My Horses" and laughing. No...please stop. Please stop liking bad stuff. My quality of life would be so much better if in the back of my head I didn't know that people were enjoying terrible crap such as Beer for My Horses and Twilight.

Yeah...stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Election

I originally didn't plan on writing about the election at all. Plenty of other people were doing that anyways, and I figured it didn't need one more un-read blog to be talking about it. I attribute this post to facebook and the enormous headache it has given me over the past two days.

Republicans are probably the most sore losers I've ever seen. You lost, get over it. I'm so sick of seeing "is praying for this nation" and talking about secession? Are you serious? For the whole praying thing, you act like a liberal can't be religious. They are all godless freaks! Blargh! Idiots...get off your damn high horse for one second and be logical you bigots.

I happen to be Catholic and lean more towards the liberal side of things, so basically you're saying because Obama got elected this nation is damned to hell? Did you stop to think for a second that just maybe God wanted Obama to get elected. Conservative doesn't equal religious.

This all just goes in hand with my belief that people need to start picking their own beliefs instead of just voting based on party. Just because you are a christian, it doesn't automatically mean you should vote republican.

How would all you silly jerkoffs feel if I started running around screaming about how your protestant religions are wrong and you should immediately convert the Catholicism or be damned to hell? You would think I'd lost my mind and I was an intolerant dick.

Yeah, look in the mirror.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


I figure before anything else I should link that article. Since it is pretty much the only reason I'm writing anything right now. Mr. Ben "Yahtzee" Crowshaw, an idle for nerds to follow, and a man who can talk about games as art and all that more eloquently than I could ever dream.

I know most of you who read this couldn't care less about videogames but you should at least skim that article. It brings up some good points. Yeah...posting that link here will get that article about as much exposure as tossing it into a gutter.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Random Crap: Episode 1

I don't rightly feel like typing up three or so complete paragraphs on a single subject, so this is going to be a random crap rundown. It's (not) fun for the whole family!

  • When did Marty Turco decide that he sucks? Was it in the offseason? This really needs to stop, the offense shouldn't have to score six or seven goals to win games on a constant basis
  • What is wrong with people that walk to class? They can't walk in a straight line ever. It is nigh impossible to ride a bike to class simply because people decide they are all avoiding sniper fire so they are weaving everywhere.
  • I thought about punching someone in the back of the head no less than 38 times in the last 3 days.
  • I never thought a musical instrument could fill me with rage to the point of violence. It can.
  • They sell Sour Patch Kids in giant 1.9 pound bags. That's awesome.
  • Dead Space is probably the scariest game ever made.
  • On that note, video games are so much better at setting a frightening atmosphere than movies are. Horror movies can't even hold a candle to survival/horror games.
  • Cooking lobster is apparently "metal."
  • Placing a movie poster with a large zombie head that is staring at you at the end of your bed is not the best of ideas.
  • Searching the words "Twilight awful" will bring up my blog as the first result.
  • Making a post comprised entirely of bullet points may seem like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect, it makes you look like an idiot.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hockey Season!

Well, it's time for a sports centric post instead of a post about being about a sporting event and the people types at said event. The NHL regular season has started and been going on for the past week. If current trends continue, I will be slipping into a deep depression by mid-November. Is this the same Dallas Stars team that was picked by numerous people to win the Stanley Cup this year? It is? Just checking.

This has got to be one of the most abysmal starts I have ever seen. Lets run it down, shall we?
Columbus: 5-4 L(OT)
Nashville: 3-1 L
Nashville: 6-4 W
St. Louis: 6-1 L
Colorado: 5-4 L

So we stand at 1-3-1. Three points in five games. That is just fantastic. Oh I know it's the beginning of the season and there are bound to be bumps along the way. Then again, four of those games are against Central Division teams. The worst division (other than Detroit) in the entire NHL. The first game of the season against Columbus was pretty bad, we came out slow and Columbus jumped to a lead, but in the second the Dallas Stars from last year emerged and scored two goals in the second to take a lead. The third seemed like we decided we wanted to sit on a one goal lead. Columbus was having none of that and they promptly scored three to take a 4-2 lead. Somehow in the last four minutes of the game we managed to score two then we ended up giving up one in the last 21 seconds of overtime to lose.

I would say we just barely pulled a point out of that one.

Then the only victory we have is thanks to an amazing performance by Mr. Fabian Brunnstrom. It was his first NHL game ever and he scored a hat trick. Without that, we lose that game. So it was incredibly lucky that we even got the only win we have. The three points we have this season are absolutely magical.

The biggest problem with this team isn't the offense as you may be able to tell. It would be the goaltending. Marty Turco makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. 4.7 GAA with an .820 save percentage. So it isn't even like the team is hanging him out to dry. He just looks bad and really needs to pull his head out. If this keeps up, he needs to be benched for awhile so he can work whatever is wrong out. Don't let him work it out in the net so the offense will be forced to score upwards of five goals if we want to win.

Also if this keeps up for another week or two, Tippett's time in Dallas is coming to a close. If he does get fired, they need to bring in a hardass coach that will pin the players ears to the wall and isn't afraid to call them out. Make them afraid to make mistakes.

Our Team, Our Time. Right.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hockey Games and Little Kids

Well, it looks like we have a part deux to "Hockey Games and Socialites," which is quite depressing. There shouldn't have to be a part two. I go to hockey games for entertainment. Not to get the urge to burn the world down/pummel random people in the crowd. Sure sometimes I imagine myself wailing on Todd Bertuzzi or Shaun Avery, but that is normal.

No no, the other night at the Stars vs. Blues pre-season game, I had the urge to brutally murder a group of 8 year olds. Turns out both my friend and dad had the same idea. Which made me feel less like a serial killer (or at least I'm in a group of serial killers). These had to be the most obnoxious children I've ever dealt with in my entire life. I was pelted with I'm not even sure how much popcorn, my roommate kept getting jabbed in the back of head with a foam finger. The accompanying adult with these kids proceeded not to do a damn thing about it.

The last 4-5 minutes of the game were the absolute worst. Not only were they throwing popcorn all over the place but they were screaming random sports jargon, and some idiot kid kept screeching, in a voice I will hear in my nightmares, "OUT OF BALANCE! OUT OF BALANCE! OUT OF BALANCE!" He kept that up, for no joke, five minutes. I was about ready to punch a hole through my own head so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore.

Why are kids like this allowed to attend sporting events? Why are they even allowed in public? They should be kept in cages then studied and eventually made infertile so they can't pass on their genes. The human race just doesn't need that.

Whats sad is it looked like these kids had rich parents, which means they will end up at like Harvard or Yale or something stupid and eventually become a congressman or even worse President. I can imagine a press conference consisting entirely of "OUT OF BALANCE!"

Its either that or United States will be a desolate wasteland where we have formed into tribes and scavenge for food.

At least the Stars won 4-3, and it means the regular season is that much closer.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


America is a fat country and waistbands are getting bigger. Oh ho ho, that was an easy post. Yeah but not really, I was referring more to the whole elastic waistband thing...because people are fat! I'm on a roll!

Ok so yeah...back on topic, elasticity. Today in econ we were talking about elasticity of demand and some other such nonsense that I actually understood. Normally I feel like some kind of idiot in that class, but moving on. Maybe I'm just slow to this realization, but I figure might as well say something.

Why the hell do people whine about gas prices so much? Well I guess I do that too, my problem isn't so much the whining, as it is the fact that people seem to think these gas companies are in the wrong for charging so much. Why wouldn't they? They have no incentive at all to lower gas prices at this point because we are still willing to buy gas.

The problem here is that it would be nigh impossible to go cold turkey on gas, the layout of cities pretty much prevents this. People have to commute to work, which in this country generally means driving from a suburb to downtown. People aren't just going to start leaving at 5am to walk or ride a bike to work. As long as it is available, people will pay for gas to drive to their job, to make money so they can provide for their families and buy more gas.

Honestly though, why would these companies lower gas prices? The incentive really isn't there. People act like they shouldn't be out to make a good profit. The entire purpose of getting of a job, or running a business is to make just as much money as possible. Do I run around declaring some guy is in the wrong because he makes more than he needs just to get by. No, but we seem to feel the need to damn these companies.

Sure this doesn't make them any less evil, as far as I can tell, the heads of Exxon wear top hats, light cigars with handfuls of one-hundred dollar bills and laugh evilly whilst saying "Gooooood, gooooood."

Sunday, September 14, 2008


Well its been quite awhile hasn't it? Over a month in fact. I know I shouldn't deprive the oh so many readers I have out there of my oh so amazing writing abilities and quick wit. (Note: My writing abilities are fairly sub par and my wit isn't all that quick). It just seemed cruel. So um yeah...I guess I should get writing.

This would be much easier if I had something to write about.

Bah, update is on the way sometime soon.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Reviewers: A Review

Oh the critic, the reviewer, whatever you want to call them. They have the best job on the entire planet Earth. I cannot even fathom having a better job than getting to critique the work of someone else. I mean, I do that anyways but I don't get paid. These people get paid for their opinions. What the hell?! Why isn't anyone paying me for my all important opinion? Oh right, I'm not important.

Here is the problem I have with all this, these people that are critics seem to be the people that couldn't make it in their chosen field. They wander aimlessly muttering bitterly about how they almost made it, then someone got the bright idea that they should talk shit about the people who did make it in said profession. They created a rating system of sorts and somehow an entire new profession was created.

Why does everyone listen to these people? "I heard such and such jackass gave this movie 0 stars." Who cares? How do you know his tastes line up with yours anyways? How is he able to make money off of movies when he isn't involved in any way shape or form in making them. All he does is complain about them because he wasn't good enough.

So basically the reviewer is given a free item (be it a game, meal, or movie) and they judge it. Then get paid. They are given free things then paid way too much money for an opinion.

I need that job.

Oh yeah, this is a review...

Reviewers: 0 out of 5 Stars.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Twilight: Awful?

What is with people's obsession with this series? I don't understand it. When did this goth kid nonsense become super popular? This is the kind of stuff those social reject kids write in their spare time in their pitch dark rooms as they type a blog about how much their life sucks and all the new cuts on their arms.

Now you may be wondering "Well then why did you read them?" I didn't! Screw that! I don't do research before making up incredibly biased opinions. I just take what I've heard and read off the back of the book. I mean, how can one read such meaningless drivel, ever? One would have to be incredibly bored and/or stranded on an island with only copies of these awful books. Then again, I would think you might want to do something more useful with them like burn them for warmth and cooking.

I have nothing against this culture of vampire loving freaks (yes I do) but when did it become mainstream? I guess after Harry Potter, anyone who could write more than a few paragraphs and knew someone that worked for a publisher decided they could write a book. Somehow this particular idiot hit the jackpot. Some idiot read the book, then told their friend about who told their friend about it. You know what, I don't think anyone has read these books at all. They all just bought copies because its the cool thing right now. Jerks.

Sunday, May 18, 2008


So EA has decided to have DRM on both Spore and Mass Effect. I could care less about Mass Effect but I plan on purchasing Spore. And really, I could still care less. Oh no they want to verify it when I install the game?!?! Outrageous!

I see people all over the internet just absolutely losing their shit over this. If you bought the game and have an internet connection (if you don't you probably really don't play PC games) this shouldn't be a problem. Just verify after install then go and play. Oh no?

Getting angry about this is like saying you're mad a store beefs up security after people keep shop lifting it. For some reason since its the gaming industry and it affects gamers (the whiniest people ever) its the worst thing that has happened in the history of the earth. The Holocaust? Mere spilt milk in comparison. If this ruins the game for you, you obviously didn't care for it that much in the first place.

Out of all of this I have really come to the conclusion that the people whining about this aren't the people that were going to buy Spore in the first place. Its the people that want to pirate it but still wanted to download content for it (oh yeah it verifies anytime you download content as well). Pony up the $50 and buy the game. Or hey wait a year and pay like $20.

Another thing is we should be angry at the people pirating the games for all this, not the companies for adding more security measures.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Good Luck

Ok I retract all of that, not that anybody cares. I still hate Sean Avery and the fact that the Stars signed him. Jerks.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Well then...

Well it has been about a month since my last post so I guess its time to update for the one total reader that I have. Its exam time now...oh boy. That time of year when you study and study and study then take the test and find out its over completely different material than the stuff that you spent three weeks meticulously going over. So I guess if this post is terrible (it probably will be) I can blame exams.

I don't want to rant about exams though. What I do want to talk about though is karma. It undoubtedly exists and it is one of the few things that actually makes me believe in a higher power. So many times you see some idiot (Shawn Avery for instance) being stupid and doing things that just make you think "Man what a jackass...someone needs to break his leg or something." Instead of someone having to be suspended to take Shawn Avery out, karma comes and gets him back for everyone and his spleen bursts or something like that.

Thats so beautiful. It is on the cusp of being poetic. It seems so often that for some reason or other, people do in fact get what they deserve, reap what they sow, whatever you want to say. Almost like there is some kind of justice in the world.

Oh sure there are plenty of cases that refute this, but since they don't prove my point, I like any good writer, will just ignore them and pretend they don't exist.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Hockey games and...socialites?

So tonight I had the honor of seeing the Stars lose a horrendous game to the Phoenix Coyotes 4-2. The interesting part was that I sat in Section 117, on row F. Normally I'm in section 323 or some kind of nonsense. The point being that instead of the players appearing to be ants, I could see their freakin facial expressions.

So that was fairly cool, I got a bunch of pictures from the warmups and a few from the game, but I didn't get on here to update to talk about that. I'm here updating to ask this: when the hell did it become the socialite thing to do to attend a hockey game? I was at the game, enjoying myself a bit at least, but there were these four girls sitting in front of me that annoyed the hell out of me with their mindless chatter. It was like a hockey game broke out in the middle of their conversation or something.

How do people like this get tickets and a bigger question is why? I didn't see them pay attention once, all they did was talk fairly loudly and look stupid with their orange skin. Another thing, why do girls think that looks good? I don't think there is a single guy that says, "Oh man that girl has a fake tan, I'm all over that!" No, wrong. Its gross and looks bad. You don't look like you are from California (who the hell wants to be from California anyways?), you just look like an idiot with a fake tan. Which I can then infer you probably have some kind of fake personality and a fake laugh. You aren't a real person and you have no soul.

I had a lot more things I wanted to say about this, but I'm fairly lazy.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


I was on my back to Denton from Dallas tonight, after spending the day there, turning things in to be a lifeguard and earn some kind of money this summer, and just because it was me, some kind of event had to be ending right when I got back. So as people flooded out of the arena, they of course needed to cross the street to get to their cars

This presented something of a problem to me as I had to in fact get down that very same street. Well as all know people enjoy traveling in packs. Very large packs at times. So I sat there for close to 3 minutes before the smallest opening appeared and I ran over about 5 people to get by. It was the only way.

Seriously though, there is a point while sitting there where you think to yourself, "You know, I am in a 2000lbs vehicle and they are only flesh and bone, I think I can win this battle..."

Man did invent the cross-walk to protect the pedestrian though, its a safe zone. Like "Hey I'm in this, you aren't supposed to run me over." That only goes so far, people need to respect the cars out of fear though. Those stripes of paint don't magically grant them invincibility. When you are inside there you can't just go "Hey man don't worry, I got this" and step in front of the car and watch it smash to little pieces.

So I guess what everyone should take from this is that Newton invented physics so that right as he was about to plow some pedestrians over in his SUV, he didn't magically pass through them or something.

Friday, February 29, 2008

So I came to a realization

Gamers are some of the whiniest people ever. They whine and complain about anything and everything. Case in point, I recently heard about a new game Dice is putting out, Battlefield Heroes. It is in fact going to be free to play but there is some kind of catch, possible in game ads and micro-transactions. Of course this has garnered some kind of ire from the community. This is in spite of the fact that it has been confirmed that ads will only be on the login page and on community sites. And the micro-transactions will more than likely just deal with aesthetics. So this won't another War Rock where the people that decided they have expendable income get equipment above and beyond that available to everyone else.

What bugs me is how people are whining about ads in a game that is free. It is free and yet people are whining about what isn't even really inconveniencing them. I mean seriously, what is wrong with gamers? They act like they don't see ads anywhere else and nobody has to deal with advertisements but them. I don't know about you but when I drive around there are billboards, when I'm trying to watch a Stars game it constantly gets interrupted by a commercial break. I think gamers can deal with a few billboards placed throughout a city that will actually make the game more realistic.

I mean seriously, God forbid I have to see a billboard while I race around city streets or that I have to watch a coke ad while a game loads. None of that bothers me, but if they start actually interrupting the game for ads to tell me about what crappy frozen pizza tastes delivered, then I will be angry. I didn't pay $50 to be told "ITS NOT DELIVERY! ITS DJORNO!" (are those commercials even around anymore?)

All that being said, I am a gamer.

First post, hooray!

Its 1am and I'm fairly lazy and have class at 9am. I s'pose I'll make an actual post tomorrow or sometime this weekend then we can really get things rolling. Or I'll never get back on here again, I guess we'll just have to wait and see...