Tuesday, March 17, 2009

FML: My Thoughts

So, I'm now going to write about my opinion on this new internet craze, and I'm going to assume you find them valid and possibly correct since you are reading my blog. Which is incredibly awesome and should be linked and/or shown to everyone you know. Friends, family, pets, random people on the street. Maybe go downtown in whatever city you live in and let a hobo read it on your computer if it's a laptop. They don't have the internet or a computer, and I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

Here is a simple diagram of how awesome my blog will be to hobos.

My blog > Food, booze and crack. Combined.

FML is irritating. It isn't funny, or cute or enjoyable at all. There are reasons for all these, but don't we have friends for things like this? So we can share our problems with them? That site isn't even like a blog, where people can share thoughts, it's just a place where people can do one of two things. Either complain about about something or make something up in an effort to try and be funny.

Hey, I can do that too. "Today, a bird crapped on my head, I got my leg cut off, then got herps from having sex with a girl I just met. FML." OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Either that or, I can try and get sympathy by elaborating on how none of those things were my fault at all. Lamestown.

You know who can't help you figure out why you're a whore/manwhore and talk you through getting the herps and sypholis from having unprotected sex with three different guys in one night? Random internet people, that's who can't help you. You know who can? Your friends. Or probably if you're that deep, a psychologist.

I understand it was originally meant to be a site for funny little anecdotes. It isn't funny though, it's annoying and a plague upon society. Are we all that introverted and sad that we get our kicks from random person 1000 miles' away bad day or laugh at a weak attempt at humor when someone makes up a fake bad thing happening?

I really hope not.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Drinking Problem

Woo, I'm three days short of going an entire two months without a real update. I won though. I won.

No, not the kind in Airplane. You fool. Although, if that's the first thing you thought about, immediately add twelve points to your overall score. You're moving up in life! I mean alcoholic drinks actually, and why people drink them.

Now, I do understand people want to go to a party and have a good time, that's fine. Every once in awhile, on the weekends, not for me, but cool if you want to. Also, if you're feeling like crap about something, not the best thing to drown your sorrows in, but whatever floats your boat. The people who have a problem are the people who seem to drink every single day, and every time they go out. If they are not drinking, they seem to be uncomfortable.

These people are annoying and if you encounter them, you may find yourself reaching for the nearest blunt object so that you can beat the stupid out of your head as soon as possible. Or lower your intelligence level so it does not give you a headache to listen to these people ramble on and on about, "lyke OMG! last night was amazing, lololol." I need to take a shower now...

These people have no personality as far as I can tell. The only thing I can figure is they either see alcohol as a personality substitute or they are just that immature. Neither is better or worse than the other. But I have to say, listening to someone talk about they got drunk on a Wednesday night makes me confused and angry.

You might be thinking, "but Sam, they can live their lives how they want." Sure they can, it just does not annoy me any less and won't let me stop from ranting on the almighty internet. Where my opinions are both valid and somewhat anonymous.

Yeah! Take that drunken idiots who won't ever read this! Take that!