Thursday, March 11, 2010

Why I Feel Like a Winner.

So, that title implies this post will be quite the wanking of my ego, and it very well might be, but something very specific brought this on. Standing in the pre-order line for Final Fantasy XIII outside of Denton's Gamestop. Now, I say standing and not waiting, because I was in no way waiting in that line. I wasn't there to purchase the game in any fashion. I was there because a friend promised me a free meal if I went with him to keep him company. It ended up being Carl's Jr. Then standing in this line made me feel like a champ. The night was clearly win-win for me.

As I approached the line, my stomach full of a grilled cheese double bacon burger thing. I'm not sure what the real name is, point is it was delicious and probably bad for me in every single way possible. I probably had the runs but forgot, but I digress. I was walking towards this line of BO and social faux pas (how do you pluralize that? Is it even possible?), medium doctor pepper in hand, feeling awesome about myself, having just consumed such a burger.

As I began to observe the people around me, it was just like an ego boost on the move. I realized that while I may be an incredible nerd (as AIM just now yelled at me in the voice of one Maurice Moss 'Message for me!'), but I still find myself to be rather well adjusted socially. I may seem like a hermit from time to time, but that happens. As I gazed upon the group before me, I felt exponentially better about myself every few minutes as a new one showed up, or one stepped out of the shadows. Even in the shadows they aren't too hard to spot, having never actually seen the sun in real life. Only it's likeness (soon to look even better in DX11).

There was this group of three ahead of me, two of which had disgusting long, greasy looking hair. One of these two was short, and gangly. The other tall and gangly. Neither of which ever having interacted with another human being who hadn't seen every single episode of Star Trek every more than likely and both of whom can probably point out every single problem with Star Wars ever (the original trilogy that is, we all know the prequel trilogy is flawed as hell). The third one was bald, which is lame shit too. It's like he noticed how lame his friends are, but took it way too far to the other end. He was sporting a pretty rad beard though, which was rad up until the point that he started to talk about it. You should never start talking about your beard with a random passerby, it negates any awesomeness and makes it more and more look like you're a hobo who just doesn't own a razor. Good job, bum.

So, take those three people and multiply it by about 30, then you have the general crowd I was dealing with, the non-lame ass person scattered about every once and awhile. Then there was the occasional whif of...something one might get up the nostrils that just somehow managed to offend every single sense even though it was just a smell. I can't even begin to explain how that works.

This is why I felt like a winner. While I might be an ultimo nerd, I still manage to take care of myself, and do have friends all of whom aren't ultimo nerds too. There isn't anything wrong about it, but when you start to neglect hygiene on a regular basis, or you do shower and whatnot, but your room is such a stinking mess, you can't wash the stink off, go ahead and count yourself on the losing side.

So, that was that. I feel like that was kind of a weak ending, so here are some other reasons I'm a winner.

  • I recently turned 21.
  • I now finally own the whole Cage the Elephant album and can say with confidence it is in fact all good, and not just that one song. You know the one, that's in Borderlands and supposedly on the radio.
  • I also own Battlefield Bad Company 2. It's on the Frostbite engine and that just makes me smile.
  • That last post was a joke that was making fun of the far right and some people apparently didn't catch that. This also somehow makes me a winner.
  • Bacon.
  • I own and operate an internet radio station, The Futurebox Machine.
  • I am not addicted to crack.
  • Cheeseburgers.
I'm sure I'll update that list more pretty soon.


Anonymous said...

BFBC2 = good
haha @ ppl in the line
final fantasy = never played and dnt care about it
yay for cheese burgers

the end

Imran said...

Self confidence is a wonderful thing, certainly.

Jory said...

Hey, just because you love Final Fantasy and go to MTG tournaments and have video-game-inspired tattoos, doesn't mean you are gross or a social leper.

Did I seem that badly adjusted when we met? Of course, to be fair, I don't go out into the sun if I can help it, and yes, I am so pale and sleep so little I am commonly referred to as a vampire, but come on. ;) Some of us can both wield a 360 controller and a toothbrush at the same time.