Monday, May 3, 2010


So, I ran into my usual dilemma of not knowing what to write about for a new update. With calls for less posts and video games and more posts about Australia and what I've learned from people that live there. Yeah, I don't know how to fill an entire post about that kind of thing.

First I had the idea to take apart the crappy Insane Clown Posse song/video Miracles. If you haven't already seen it, go look it up on youtube, it's pure gold. But then I noticed that everyone has already done this.

Then I thought, brilliantly I might add, that I should do a post that is a rebuttal to Roger Ebert's blog about how video games are and never will be art. For one that would be about video games, which apparently I should stop writing about. For two, people far more talented and knowledgeable than me have also already done a myriad of things concerning this. I honestly have nothing new to contribute to such a discussion outside of lots of nerd rage. I do have plenty of that to go around.

So I sat here and thought to myself, "Sam, what could you write about?" then I decided I can write about whatever the hell I want. Well, that got me a grand total of nowhere. Because that still existed beforehand, and what I thought was some manner of groundbreaking thought, was actually just stating fact. This is my blog, I can write about whatever the hell I want. Except maybe you know...things that are against the law. That might get me into some manner of trouble. Then again, that doesn't really stop me from being able to write them, just gives me reason not to.

Anyways, that conversation in my head got really convoluted and stupid and just turned into hurling insults back and forth at myself. I'm sure you don't want to hear all about that. Maybe you do, maybe that's how you get your kicks, you sick bastard. You disgust me. You and everything you might stand for.

I mean, I'm sure to have heard something in the past few days that I could elaborate on in a blog post. But never in the course of the day during a conversation do I think to myself, "My god! That is an amazing idea for a blog post! I shall file that away in my head brain for later!" Besides I generally get everything out during that conversation or something, then yell at people later about it. I never make it far enough into my web surfing to get to my blog while I still have the spirit to write about a subject.

Oh! While I am thinking about it, there is a damn difference between curvy and fat. Fat does not make you curvy. Just because you a large woman human being person that does not in any way make you curvy. Did we somehow lose the definition of this word at some point in our long history? Or are people just that into themselves they will boldly state to the world they find themselves curvy when clearly they are not? Damn it.

I mean, even that was just an aside within this post, I might be able to get an entire post out of that, but only if I got good and riled up first. Maybe even liquored up too. Then and this is still a maybe, could I write an entire post about how people don't understand anything in the world and are all idiots, including you and me. We're all stupid. Shut up!

Now I just feel mean, sorry reader. I didn't mean to demean you. We're still cool. Please don't walk away, if you walk away it means this is over and I feel like we can make it work. We've been growing so distant lately...

Anyways. Lay off the meth kids.


Anonymous said...

Sam, I am a first time reader of your blog, and i'd just like to say one thing.

This. Is. Literary. Genius.

laxduck said...

I think abandoning logic and reason helped this post out a lot and allowed the wit to show a lot. Anyway, time to walk away quickly and find that awesome lighter with the huge flame again.

John said...

"My god! That is an amazing idea for a blog post! I shall file that away in my head brain for later!"

I do that, that's why my blog is so full of Comedy Gold SHUT UP SHUT UP IT IS YOU BASTARD

Apocalyptus said...

I liked it, but it needs more Australians.

John said...

The only thing that doesn't need more Australians is the planet Earth.